Thursday, November 28, 2013

"Happy Birthday, Bro"

Old age is a privilege that is denied to many.   (unknown)

Today, November 28th, would have been / is (?), my brother's 48th birthday.

Last year I called him on his cell, he didn't answer, but I left the same message that I said to him every year,  Happy Birthday, Bro. 

This year, I couldn't help myself,  I called his cell, the recording said "this number does not have voice mail set up".  So I sent a text message, "Happy Birthday, Bro.  And, no I am not expecting any kind of  Divine message to come back.  But, it just didn't feel right not to do something.

 I have a note from him that he wrote me about six years ago.  I wasn't home, so he found this piece of cardboard and wrote these words on it: "I was here, and you were not, now you are here, and I am not." Brother.   And, when I read it now, I am touched that he signed it "Brother", instead of using his name.  He knew I loved him, he knew he was my Brother.

The words "now you are here, and I am not." have came to me often over the past 11 months. 
Because, we are here, and he is not.

But, his memory lives on, in our hearts and minds.  We have crossed over many hurdles during this first year without him.  Thanksgiving of last year was the last time I was at his home, and we had Thanksgiving together.  And, as I have posted before, I am ever so grateful for that time.

Some of you will understand my need to post this, some will not, but I  am over-whelmed by the loss of not being able to tell my brother, Happy Birthday. 

Happy Birthday, Bro.