Sunday, March 24, 2013

Ever just been 'weary of the day'?

I have had several days, where I have gone to bed early because "I am weary of the day".  I have been exhausted since my Brother passed away 3.5 months ago.  My mind never shuts down.

I didn't see or talk to my Brother everyday, because I only get to West Virginia on holidays, so we would only see each other a few times a year.  But, we always parted with a hug and an "I love you".  Now, he is a constant thought in my mind.  When I am able to sleep, I cover up with his favorite shirt.  It comforts me to have something of his.

Thankfully we spent Thanksgiving together, so I saw him just a couple of weeks before he passed away.  If not for that, I would not be able to remember the exact time I saw him last, or the last conversation we had.
I am so grateful that I have this memory of him.

My Sister and I are making sure that we communicate often, even if it is just a "Love you" e mail.

My Dad has lost his Brother and his Sister, he said to me "It doesn't feel good to be the last one standing".  So, now I get his drift.  My Sister and I have both said "I'm not going to be the last one standing"!  I guess time will tell.

It has been a rough few months.  My Brother passed away in December, 2 weeks later my Daughter had surgery (recovering very well) in January my Dad had a "mild" heart attack.  Which I think a heart attack is "mild" only when it happens to someone else.  If I should have a heart attack, there would be no 'mild' feeling attached to it!  :)  Then in February my Granddaughter is admitted to the hospital for a virus that they cannot identify.  But, it made her very sick and took ten days for her to start feeling better. She is completely well now.

Is it any wonder that I am weary of the day?  But, being weary does not mean you can sleep.  I have had times of being up for 48 hours.  They make a pill for that.. my Dr. gave me some.  Well, it's 3:30 a.m. and here I am.... not exactly the effect I was hoping for.

I read an article that said more people had better results with a sugar pill than the ones taking an anti-depressant.  If that is the case, maybe I should just eat a candy bar a couple of times a day!
That is a better way to get sugar as far as I'm concerned!  Why take a sugar pill, when you can just eat chocolate?  ;)  I can rationalize anything!

So, I leave you with this, if you have a loved one that you don't see often, or maybe aren't getting along with, make amends, send "love ya" e mails. Be able to remember the last time you communicated with them.  It brings one comfort.

xoxo,  Vicki